Submissive Men

Also see
Submissive Men - General Information
Submissive Male Slave Directory - Listings of Talented Submissive Men
First Experience -- Rousseau Effect
Life Begins as Feme XX
Evolution of Masochism

In human sexual behavior, submissive men are the ones who enjoy having any of a variety of BDSM practices performed upon them by a dominant women; or the ones who hold a submissive position within a relationship based upon dominance and submission (Ds or D/s). This enjoyment can spring from a simple desire for submission or an enjoyment of the interplay of wills involved in such a scenario. A submissive man is also referred to as a 'sub', where the dominant woman in a D/s relationship is the 'Dom.'

The main difference between a submissive man and a bottom is that the submissive man ostensibly does not give instructions, although he does set limits on what the Dominant woman can do.

There are also indications that submissive men substantially outnumber Dominant women. Professional Dominant women provide stimulatory services (which may or may not include sex) for those unable to find a compatible partner for this activity.

In many BDSM communities, there is a distinction between a submissive and a slave. In this context, a slave's goal is surrender and obedience. In contrast, a submissive man tends to expect some gratification in return for his submission.

In a broader context, a submissive man is one who needs to give most or all authority over his life to a dominant woman, who will protect, guide, and nourish the submissive man. Such a D/s relationship need not include other BDSM practices, and is not necessarily limited to sexual behavior.

Natural submitters are strong relaters who need and may seek the deepest intimacy in personal relationships. Submitters can be placed on a spectrum of natural submitters, natural submitters with victimization traits, and full-fledged victims, who may or may not be natural submitters.

Offers to submit may be either passive, as in yielding or surrendering, or active, as in gifting or offering, just as the common verb can be either yielding to, or presenting to another.

To understand more about the psychology and psychoanalysis of submissive males, you might wish to read

To submissive males, the book would give you a lot of information
on how you came to have the fantasies that turn you on.

This analysis of the pathologies of fantasy and psychology shows the road to hedonism is not paved with bricks but with dreams. With more than 20 years of counseling experience, Bader comes across as a compassionate psychotherapist, dedicated to exploring desire in whatever shape it might take: "Sexual excitement," he writes, "is loaded with taboos in our culture and is inevitably fraught with conflict and complications." Describing clinical practices and employing stories from his couch, Bader constructs a sexual world view wherein the shame and guilt patients experience in their early years (via the usual suspects: unhappy childhoods, bad parents) later well up in their intimate lives, often times in the form of secret and seemingly deviant fantasies. Throughout the book, Bader attempts to elucidate how these fantasies are used as the bridge between sexuality and the unreleased psychological tensions that float beneath the surface of consciousness. Readers may find his interpretations of fantasies from the familiar to the strange titillating (from voyeurism to coprophilia and sadomasochism), but may wonder if it's really accurate to say that "sexual fantasies are the keyhole through which we will be able to see our true selves." Bader's methodology insists that these desires are played out on a field viewed solely through the lens of psychoanalysis, a form of treatment some believe is outdated. And even though he may be a proponent of pop-sexology, Bader never gives a nod to Havelock Ellis, who pioneered in the field a century ago.

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