Male Slave Training
How Can I Be A Good Slave?
Some dominatrices get off on slaves who are defiant or subtly disobedient,
and use it as an excuse to punish; but for other dominatrices, especially
inexperienced ones, it can be anything but fun. Making your dominatrix feel like
she doesn't know what she is doing is no fun for either of you. The solution?
The next time you play, tell yourself that you are the property of your
dominatrix, that her will is yours, and that your deepest desire is to please
her. Before, if she did something you didn't like, you might have suggested her
try it another way; now, she is doing exactly what she wants to be doing, and
you are grateful she is doing it. Let go of your urges to be in control;
surrender to her, and let her have her way with you.
If you are still not quite getting what you want, as a slave, this solution may
not last very long; you will probably want to talk to your dominatrix about what
your needs and desires are, and about how you can both have fun getting to them.
But the time to negotiate about what your submissive fantasies are, and how you
might want to manifest them, is not necessarily while you're in the middle of a
scene which you've pre-negotiated. Don't get into the "Oh, yes, Mistress,
anything you want--um, uh, Mistress, you're not quite doing it right!" trap.
Relax, and respond. Quite often a dominatrix will enjoy topping you because of
your reactions--the way you wriggle, and squirm, and cry out. If you clench
every muscle and strive to endure without giving any sign that you're feeling
anything, your dominatrix may get frustrated with the lack of feedback. Let
yourself feel. And don't hold your breath! Or rather, don't forget to breathe.
(If, of course, you negotiated a "stoic endurance" scene, that's different. But
don't feel you have to act that way.
Of course, nothing is cut-and-dried; just because you're the slave doesn't mean
you're a puppet. But there is a big difference between being open and
communicative, and trying to force things in your preferred direction. A good
bottom is one who is enthusiastic, devoted to their dominatrix's pleasure,
willing to surrender to their dominatrix's will, open about their own desires
(in a respectful manner, of course), and happy to be the slave.