EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT BDSM

By Whipping Boy

Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) is a fascinating prospect; in its mildest form a thing of ridicule, and something to make jokes about, but in more extreme forms, it can be very scary indeed. However, provided that it remains safe, sane and consensual, to those that practice it, BDSM provides a bigger rush than any drug ever will. This article looks at the scene from a female dominant aspect, for that is where my own personal interest lies.

Although modern society would have us think otherwise, we are not all equal, and an integral part of human nature has always been a desire to either dominate others or be controlled ourselves. It is in this way that great leaders have evolved; by the same token, it is how others have been so happy to follow them and carry out their wishes. At a basic level, BDSM is nothing more than an extension of this natural desire, merely exaggerated slightly and applied within a sexual scenario. To a great many people in the world who indulge in BDSM, their fantasies go no further than the odd session of one or the other being tied up during normal, conventional sex. The thrill for them is the feeling of power gained from being in control, or conversely, the feeling of helplessness and the consequent loss of control experienced by the person who is tied up. This is known simply as Bondage and Domination (B&D).

If we accept the above theory, then Sadism and Masochism (S&M) is just a more extreme version of B&D. It will certainly incorporate many aspects of B&D, but it goes further than this; it involves darker aspects of human nature, which can sometimes be undeniably sexy. The person in control derives pleasure from inflicting pain and/or cruelty, whereas the victim enjoys receiving pain and being the object of another’s cruelty. It is important to make clear that BDSM should always be a symbiotic relationship; for it to work properly there must be a sadist and a masochist. The abuse of unwilling victims is something that does happen every day throughout the world, but it is not an acceptable form of BDSM play, as victims may be damaged and scarred for life. Like I said, safe, sane and consensual are the buzzwords.

An unfortunate but undeniable facet of human nature is that most people get some form of pleasure from the suffering of others. This can vary in extremity from smug satisfaction after seeing an unpopular work colleague getting his just desserts, the primitive excitement of watching another person getting beaten up, right the way up to the voyeuristic and often sexual thrill that can be experienced by some people at torture sessions and public executions. If the pleasure is sexual in nature, then the person experiencing it is said to be a sadist. Sadists are not all as extreme as the last example shows, although some are less innocent than they care to admit. Studies carried out in Canada in the 1950s showed that for many sadists, only the conventions placed upon them by modern society, an effective system of law and order, a fear of getting caught and a lack of opportunity prevent them from satisfying their darker urges, and once these constraints are removed, their behavior and attitude would be very different. Actions carried out in countries such as Bosnia-Herzegovina, Rwanda, and other places where such constraints were removed, would tend to support this theory.

Sadism applies equally to women, as well as men. The role placed on women in society is kind, gentle and nurturing; they are expected to act as a civilizing effect on the male propensity for violence, and are generally drawn to more caring professions, such as nursing, teaching, etc. However, sadism is not gender-specific, and studies indicate that the percentage of female sadists roughly matches the percentage of male sadists. For example, if 30% of males in any given group have sadistic tendencies, then the chances are that 30% of the women in that group will also be sadists. Women are capable of exercising just as much cruelty as men given the opportunity, sometimes even more, because women are widely accepted to be far better at mental cruelty, and are able to use their femininity as a weapon against male victims. It is no accident that the US Army recruits and trains more females to interrogate (mostly male) prisoners than men. They are simply better at it.

That’s all fine in theory, but can women really be as sadistic as men in real life? Well, yes they can. In fact there are hundreds of examples from history that demonstrate women’s cruelty for sexual pleasure, some of them quite extreme, although it is not a subject that is usually taught at school. For example, consider the spectacles seen in the Roman Empire between the 1st and 4th centuries AD. Condemned criminals, errant slaves and captured foreign soldiers were tortured and put to death in various gruesome ways for the entertainment of the crowd, who would cheer the spectacle wildly, pelt the condemned with rotten fruit and eagerly chant for their deaths with thumbs pointed downwards. It was generally a great day out for those who derive pleasure from cruelty, a place where they could satisfy their sadistic urges without suffering the wrath of the authorities or disapproval from their fellow citizens.

The coliseum is not the first recorded example of such cruelty for pleasure, but it is worth singling out because of how thoroughly it was designed to wring out the maximum amount of suffering from the victims for entertainment value before their deaths, and this often involved a degree of sexual pleasure. Most importantly, it is clear from historic accounts of the time that women participated in this cruelty just as eagerly as men.

The torture often started several days before the hapless prisoners even reached the arena, when they would be visited in their cells by “gloaters”, men and women who teased them about their impending deaths. Gloaters often paid jailers to whip and beat the prisoners for their entertainment, and those prepared to pay more money were allowed to participate in the torture; pallets were provided so that gloaters could have sex as they watched and listened to the pleading and screams of the condemned.

Having sex was not unusual during the games themselves; a well-documented sport for young men during this period was to stand behind an attractive girl in the crowd. Such was their enjoyment from watching the executions that some women were said to reach a high state of sexual arousal, often assisted by some discreet masturbation. Knowledgeable men would watch for these signs, and once it was judged that an orgasm was close, the man would push the ecstatic female’s lower garments aside and thrust into her from behind. Clearly, many of these advances would have been rejected fiercely, particularly if the man had miscalculated. However, the practice was so widely written about that other women obviously encouraged it. One married woman was said to be in such a state of sexual ecstasy that she did not even realize she had been penetrated until the man thanked her husband after he finished.

Wealthier spectators could afford to take their pleasures in a more leisurely fashion. Private boxes were available for rent or purchase, where the rich were guaranteed a better view of the killings. I will mention one account, which involved male and female dwarf slaves. Presumably because of their less threatening size and amusing appearance, dwarfs were extremely popular as slaves in ancient Rome, and owners sometimes had all their teeth removed, to make them more adept at performing oral sex. Throughout the games, one particular group of dwarfs were made to kneel in front of a row of large ornate thrones, their hands and feet bound and their necks locked into collars fastened to the front of each seat. The wealthy occupants of the box took turns to sit in the chairs, their thighs either side of a dwarf’s imprisoned head. Clothing was rearranged to cover the slave’s head from view, and once hidden, the slave’s sole duty was to lick and suck whoever was sitting in the chair to orgasm as he or she enjoyed the carnage below. The account goes on to mention that Livia Drucilla, the wife of a prominent merchant was so dissatisfied with the way she had been pleasured by a slave, that she had him thrown into the arena afterwards. To the cheers of the crowd, he was tied to a post, covered in tar and burned alive for her amusement.

Such sadism was not restricted to ancient Rome. During the public hangings common in England in the 16th, 17th and 18th centuries, crowds of anything from 10,000 to 100,000 would routinely gather. Most of the houses that surrounded Tyburn, Smithfield and Tower Hill gallows were brothels, and the rooms that afforded the best views of the gallows were always the most popular and expensive to rent. On execution days, they were booked solid, and the “Tyburn Tupping” became a famous sexual position of the times. In this position, the girl remained fully clothed, and would lean out of the window with her skirt hiked up around her waist. This presented her naked backside to the customer, whilst giving her the appearance of being fully clothed to the crowds outside. Her customer then entered her from behind, and both of them would watch the execution as they had sex. It is unclear whether these women enjoyed the hangings as much as the men, or were just taking advantage of the situation to turn a healthy profit. However, the fact that this position was chosen, instead of one which didn’t allow the women to see what was happening would suggest they certainly had no objections to watching.

More recently still, the infamous SS concentration camp guard, Irma Grese, was a woman whose voracious sexual appetites were matched only by her cruelty. Grese, who was hanged after the Nuremberg war crime trials, had power of life and death over thirty thousands inmates. At Auschwitz, she was one of the guards responsible for the daily “selections”, choosing which inmates would be murdered, and which would be spared so they could be worked until they dropped. She reveled in this power, and one of her favorite games was to whip and kick prisoners to death, or order her two dogs to rip them apart for her amusement. Witnesses report that she would become highly aroused after these killings, and would summon both male and female prisoners to her rooms and force them to perform cunnilingus on her at gunpoint. Inmates selected for this task were kept for no more than a couple of weeks before she tired of them and had them executed. We know all this because her maid survived the war and gave evidence at her trial. The maid testified that on one particular day, after hearing shouting, she went to investigate and found Grese sitting on her bed with her legs spread wide, and a terrified youth kneeling on the floor at her feet. Holding her pistol in one hand, she was using the other to forcibly drag the desperately pleading young man’s face into her naked crotch by the hair. The prisoner, a 17 year old apprentice tailor who had survived so far in the camps because of his skill at making gowns for the wives and girlfriends of SS soldiers, managed to escape from the room because of the maid’s interruption. Grese severely beat the maid for spoiling her fun, and the young tailor was sent to the gas chambers the very next day.

The above accounts demonstrate that cruelty and sadism are an integral part of human nature, and something that can be found in women as well as men. They may even appeal to some masochists, because they include examples of undeniably cruel women forcing men to perform sexual acts. However, for most people, they are way too extreme to be included within normal accepted BDSM practices. In each of the above cases, the sadist clearly satisfied her own urges, but this was by abusing unwilling victims, people who were probably not masochists and had no say in their destiny. Worst of all, the victims usually died as a result of the sadist’s desires. By no stretch of the imagination can the above accounts be described as safe, sane and consensual.

That doesn’t mean that the sadist is not allowed to be extreme, because there are plenty of masochists out there who crave extreme punishment and humiliation. But if the woman’s fantasy is to whip someone until he bleeds, and the man only wants her to sit on his face and make him eat pussy, there’s going to have to be some compromise for the relationship to work.

Let’s now look at some of the methods that can be used for domination. Like I said earlier, these are approached from a female dominant, male submissive aspect, as that is where my own interests lie. However, many of them can be applied equally to other scenarios. I will first describe the activity, then its normal use, followed by any extreme forms.

Starting a session: Starting a session can be awkward for the inexperienced. Some women insist that the slave kneels down and kisses her shoes as soon as he walks through the door, which makes things easy, but it is quite usual for both parties to have a friendly chat beforehand, before the scene has started. This can make things difficult for the woman, who at some stage has to change from her normal sweet-natured self to her dominant alter ego, with a guy she may be having a laugh and a joke with on equal terms. A suggested solution is for the woman, once she is ready for the session to start, to give her slave a short, sharp smack across the face and order him to get on his knees and lick her boots clean. The shock, pain and humiliation of the slap should instantly send him into submissive mode, and make him start slobbering over her shoe leather, but if he doesn’t immediately do so, the woman can easily slap him again. If slapping is not preferred, the simple action of placing a leash around the man’s neck and giving it a sharp tug will do. Alternatively, the man can get a scene started by dropping to his knees at the woman’s feet when he is ready to start playing the slave. Another option is for both parties to have a pre-arranged signal, which can be as simple as the woman leaving the room, perhaps to change into a suitable outfit. Once she leaves, the slave strips and kneels in the middle of the floor, and then she re-enters with a whip in her hand.

Safe words: These are most important when dealing with the more advanced aspects of BDSM, especially with a new partner, or when the activities carried out are considered dangerous. The most common system in use for safe words is the traffic light system; green for good, amber for still fine but starting to reach my limit, and red for “Get off me, you maniac or I’ll call the police!” Some scenarios in BDSM may involve hoods or gags, or prevent the slave from speaking in other ways. When this happens, it is a good idea to arrange alternative signals other than words.

Attitude: To put it simply, the role of the mistress is to stamp her authority completely over the submissive by using her personality and sexuality, and this can be done in a number of ways. Contrary to popular belief, BDSM is not all about angry shouting, and the best dominatrixes rarely lose their temper or shout at all. Instead they keep their voices calm or even cheerful, choose their words carefully and speak as if there is no question that their orders will be disobeyed; they use scorn, ridicule, punishment or the threat of it and good old feminine allure as their weapons. In this manner, they are able to dominate a man completely, yet still retain their own femininity. A warm smile, or a playful giggle, is a very effective way of humiliating a slave, or of showing a woman’s enjoyment of her own cruelty, especially when accompanied by a hard slap, sharp nails digging into a penis or the vicious twist of a nipple clamp. Explicit talk is effective too, particularly when delivered by a soft, mocking feminine voice. Apart from being extremely arousing, it is effective because it is quite rare for women to use crude language, and when they do, it intimidates many men.

Appearance: There are no hard and fast rules over what a dominatrix should look like, but unless the arrangement is purely financial, it should be her choice and not the slave’s. Many women do pander to their slave’s individual preferences, but one must then question exactly who is controlling whom. Some women prefer to wear the most outrageous fetish gear, a uniform that lends itself to certain scenarios, or gives them an air of authority or cruelty such as a policewoman, military, nurse, a severe business suit or the highly popular SS outfit. Others feel more comfortable and sensual if they are wearing more traditional feminine clothes. However, whatever the look that she goes for, a good dominatrix should always flaunt her sexuality in front of a slave, because that is a large part of his torture, and what enslaves him the most. A slave is rarely allowed to indulge in sexual intercourse with his mistress, so she is taunting him with what he can never have. The dominatrix should emphasize all the things that women have used to enthrall and enslave men for centuries; hair, lips, breasts, buttocks, thighs, ankles and feet. Generally speaking, this will usually mean wearing a dress or skirt, rather than trousers, as most men find them more feminine and sexier, and it gives the mistress more scope to show her body off. For example, a short skirt is great for flashing stocking tops, panties or her pussy at a slave, especially if he is kneeling or lying on the floor, and much more convenient if she requires pleasuring later on during a session. Lip-gloss, perfume, nail polish, jewelry and lingerie will further emphasize feminine attributes, and to give an air of authority, the woman may wish to use other props, such as hats, boots, gloves, or perhaps the most universally popular prop of all, the whip.

Footwear: In female domination, what a woman wears on her feet is extremely important. Throughout history, the accepted method of demonstrating complete subjugation to another, or begging for mercy has involved the loser getting on his knees and kissing the feet of the victor. It is the utmost sign of complete surrender, humiliation, devotion and slavery, and something a woman should insist on regularly from her slave. It should always be the first thing a slave has to do when he greets his Mistress, and the last thing he does to thank her when the session is over. To reinforce this, the dominatrix makes her feet look as sexually attractive as possible, so that the slave is aroused even whilst he degrades himself. Shoes or boots with high stiletto heels are the accepted method of doing this, as they convey power as well as allure, and they arch the foot and flatter the leg. If a woman expects her shoes to be licked clean on a regular basis, particularly if she covers them with substances that make them dirty, they should ideally be patent leather for durability and hygiene. Strappy sandals and shoes with an open toe are also effective, as they are extremely sexy and feminine, and they allow a woman to have her toes and bare feet worshipped without having to remove the shoe first.

Shoe fetishism. Shoes and boots are a huge subject, and an individual fetish in their own right. In its mildest form, this will involve having the shoe licked clean or perhaps using the shoe to crush food in front of a kneeling slave, before making him eat it. If more humiliation is required, the slave can be forced to lick mud or other unpalatable substances from the sole of a boot, or combined with a smoking fetish, the mistress could grind a cigarette butt out with her shoe and then make the slave swallow it. In its most extreme form, some men have a giantess or crush fetish; they get aroused from watching a woman slowly crushing insects and other small animals to death under their heels, often imagining that it is them being killed. There is quite a large underground market for crush films on the Internet, although the practice is illegal in many countries, and the makers of such films are regularly fined or given jail sentences. Animal lovers have a similar fetish but prefer to see toy cars, dolls, etc. being stomped. For most foot fetishists, the less extreme forms of foot worship are more common.

Killer heels. In the absence of anything else, a woman’s shoes can be used to cause a great deal of pain, especially when fitted with stiletto heels. A sharp heel pressed down on a finger, a tongue, a neck or especially an engorged penis can be excruciating, but should be done carefully unless those participating don’t mind causing permanent damage. Heels dragged down skin, or pressed into soft fleshy areas are less painful, and will usually only leave temporary marks. Kicking can be varied in strength depending on the level of punishment required, and the pain will vary according to which parts of the body are being kicked. However, some men desire more than this, and are only happy when the woman is trampling them full weight wearing heels. Others want the pain to be severe, and more symbolic, and prefer “ball-busting”, where the woman kicks their testicles hard.

Foot worship. Many submissive males have a foot fetish as opposed to a shoe fetish, and prefer to lick, suck and generally worship a woman’s bare toes and feet. It is popular with many women too, and being on the receiving end of a good “toe-job” can sexually arouse them. Men with a foot fetish enjoy activities such as being ordered to varnish a woman’s toenails, using their tongue to clean in between toes or being masturbated by a woman’s feet. Naturally, when they orgasm they should be forced to lick their own mess off the feet.

Body worship: When professional dominatrixes mention body worship, sexual contact is usually limited, or not on offer at all. This practice generally refers to the act of kissing and licking non-sexual areas of the body such as the feet, legs, thighs, buttocks, breasts (if he is lucky) and, because it is distasteful and humiliating, especially if deodorant has been applied, the armpits. Underwear generally remains firmly on, although allowing a slave to worship the underwear itself is sometimes acceptable.

Rimming: This is one step up from body worship. As previously stated, during body worship a woman allows a slave to worship her on a limited basis; she will still be wearing panties, and the slave’s tongue will either be confined to the areas of exposed flesh only, or the surface of the material that covers intimate areas. When a slave is ordered to rim his mistress, the panties are pulled to one side or removed altogether, and he must lick between her buttocks, paying special attention to the anus itself. Good hygiene is required for this practice, as it can involve the slave actually penetrating the anus with his tongue. Rimming can be an extremely effective way of humiliating a slave, for obvious reasons. It is often combined with face sitting and smothering, especially when a slave is reluctant and a degree of force is necessary. A small number of women can also achieve orgasm simply from having their anus licked.

Cunnilingus: Eating pussy, going down on a woman, licking her out, muff-diving, cunt-sucking, intimate body worship, tongue-fucking, yodeling into the grand canyon, licking the lettuce; whatever you want to call it, this is by far the most popular aspect of female domination. Even if they are not interested in many of the other things listed in this article, every single slave who has a female domination fetish wants to be used in this way. It is the ultimate act of servitude for him; he will eat pussy all day if possible, and any woman who enjoys having a guy go down on her should take full advantage of this. Cunnilingus is tailor made for female domination, because the slave has to worship the most intimate and feminine part of a woman’s body, usually until she orgasms; it’s an incredible turn on for the slave, but he gets no physical release from the act himself. It is the ultimate act of torture, tease and denial that a woman can do to a man, and because it doesn’t rely on an erect penis, she can make him do it for as long as she likes. Cunnilingus is universally popular with women too, because whereas many cannot achieve orgasm through penetrative intercourse, the majority of women can orgasm quite easily from having their clitoris licked and sucked. This is especially so when the person doing it has been trained (or forced) to do it exactly how she likes it, and for as long as she wants. It is also convenient; the woman doesn’t have to undress, it doesn’t rumple her clothes or mess up her hair and make-up, and requires very little effort on her part. She can sit back and relax, hike up her skirt and pull her panties to one side, perhaps even enjoy a nice glass of chilled wine, read a book or watch her favorite TV program as she is being slowly pleasured by the obedient head between her thighs.

Face-sitting, or queening, is a popular way of carrying out both rimming and cunnilingus, and it is also highly suitable for breath-control games. The slave lies on his back, or rests his head on a chair, and the woman straddles his head and literally sits down on his face with her full weight. It is a most effective position for when a slave has to be “forced” to lick a woman, as his head can be clamped between her thighs, and the weight of her ass allows him little or no opportunity to move his mouth away from her cunt. The woman can smother him to the point of suffocation until he complies with her order, and it leaves both her hands free for other punishments such as slapping, whipping, pinching, etc. Face-sitting causes a “tunnel effect”; a slave, trapped between a pair of soft warm thighs and surrounded by a woman’s ass, can see and hear very little. This is made worse if the woman also allows her skirt to drop down and cover his face. His world is reduced to nothing more than a soft warm cunt grinding down on his face, which he is forced to lick, suck and gently nibble, under pain of suffocation or other tortures. Positions are described as either forward or reverse. Forward is when the woman straddles the slave facing towards his head. This allows her to look down at the slave’s face, and see what he is actually doing with his mouth. She can also slap him, or pinch his nose closed to smother him even more, both good ways of getting a lazy tongue to move faster. With reverse face-sitting, the woman faces the slave’s feet. In many ways, this is a much more effective and humiliating way of dominating a slave, because when the slave’s mouth is working on her pussy, it means that his nose is forced right against her anus. It can be more comfortable for the woman, creates a much more airtight seal, and also means that she can play with the slave’s cock easier. In dungeons, face-sitting is sometimes carried out using special chairs, or “smother boxes”. By closing the lid of the box, this leaves just a small hole for the slave’s face to protrude from, and it locks his head into position. Quite often, the box will also have metal rings on the outside to secure the slave’s hands. The woman then sits on the lid, which actually takes most of her weight. In this position, the slave’s nose and mouth are forced hard into her cunt and ass, and she can smother him and take her own pleasure at will.

Intercourse. You gotta be kidding me! He’s a slave! Seriously, penetration can have its place in a female domination scenario, but it should primarily be for the pleasure of the mistress, or a means to tease the slave, and he should normally not be allowed to cum in this way. The use of cock-rings, string or a nylon stocking tied tightly around the base of a penis can be very effective for delaying or preventing orgasm, as can the application of several condoms to reduce the sensation he feels. If the mistress prefers to be penetrated, there is also a wide selection of dildo gags on the market that can be applied to a slave’s face.

Fellatio (Cock-sucking). See above; fellatio can be a great way of increasing a slave’s arousal and torture, but once again he should not normally be allowed to cum during it. One suggested exception to this is when the mistress has threatened to do something really cruel and painful to him if he does cum; she then makes every effort to get him to lose control, whilst the slave desperately tries to stop himself from cumming.

Whipping: Whenever people think of female domination, they have an image of a woman in thigh boots carrying a whip. However, it is important to remember that not every dominant enjoys using whips, and not every submissive wants to be whipped. They may have a low pain threshold, don’t want to be marked, or both parties may just simply prefer other types of punishment, such as humiliation, slapping, trampling, smother, etc. Saying that, the vast majority of participants in BDSM do like to give or receive pain to some degree, and whipping is the most effective tool to do this. It is also symbolic, as historically; whips have been used to punish slaves for thousands of years. Whips, paddles, canes and floggers all pretty much do the same job, but with varying degrees of severity. Generally, the lighter, shorter or broader an instrument of punishment is, the less it will hurt and leave marks. Because of this, they can generally be used with a lot more force. Longer, heavier and thinner whips of superior quality will hurt much more, they can cut and draw blood, and the worst ones will leave visible scars for many weeks afterwards. There are plenty of subs out there who desire heavy punishment like that, and plenty of women who enjoy giving it to them, but it requires prior agreement, experience and trust between both parties. As a general rule when whipping the buttocks, it should be administered when a slave is lying down flat; the whipping hurts just as much but will not leave as many bruises as if he is kneeling, because the skin is not pulled as taut. If leaving marks is a problem, but intense punishment is still desired, the soles of the feet are another option to consider, as it is excruciatingly painful. When whipping a new slave, the best way is to experiment and allow him to use the traffic light system to say when something is just right, or too severe. Once he says he has had enough, a true mistress will always whip him a tiny bit more just to show him who is in charge, and to push his pain threshold further. Lastly, unless the intention is to just punish the slave harshly, always start out lightly and build up the severity of the strokes.

Candles. This usually refers to the dripping of hot wax on flesh, although in more extreme scenarios, it can also mean the actual burning of the flesh with a naked flame. The intensity of the pain will depend on how far the wax has to fall before landing on flesh. Obviously, if the candle is held close to the skin, the dripping wax has less time to cool on its descent and so will be much hotter. It is an excellent form of torture, especially if applied to skin that is already tender from other punishment, and will usually leave no marks at all once the wax is washed off.

CBT: Cock and Ball Torture can be done with varying levels of severity using ropes, small whips, clamps, weights, candles, cigarettes, hands and teeth or even needles. Often, just the act of teasing and masturbation coupled with prolonged orgasm denial can be enough to bring agonizing torture, especially if the slave is tied up and helpless. CBT is more effective when the penis and balls have been tied tightly to trap the blood and make the cock swell, because the veins and nerve-endings become super-sensitive. The lightest flick, caress or tongue stroke will cause pain as well as pleasure; a set of clamps or a small cock-whip will have a slave screaming for mercy. The most extreme forms of CBT involve “ball-busting”, piercing (also known as needle play) and even castration.

Breath control: This form of punishment is popular with many slaves who do not like to be marked, but it is better for an inexperienced mistress to err on the side of caution to start with. It should also not be done to people with heart problems, or a history of epilepsy. Although not usually painful, the sense of panic and fear that a trussed-up slave experiences from being completely unable to breathe, is an excruciating form of torture; his very existence, and the decision over whether he lives or dies, now hinges on the whim of his mistress. It can be repeated as often as the mistress wants, and is particularly effective in role-play scenarios such as kidnappings. There are many ways that breath control can be carried out, and they range from the almost gentle to the very severe. Hand-over-mouth (HOM) suffocation is the most basic form, where the woman clamps her hand over the mouth and nose of the person to be suffocated, and this can be made more effective if leather or rubber gloves are worn. A stocking, a piece of rope, or a pair of strong thighs, when wrapped around a slave’s neck are very good for strangling, but may leave marks. Face-sitting, my own personal favorite, can be carried out either fully clothed or nude, and can be enhanced if a mistress wears PVC, rubber or leather panties. A plastic bag over the head is most effective, but must be monitored at all times; the plastic will shrink quickly onto the slave’s face if it is warmed up with a hair dryer, but you should always have something sharp to quickly pierce a breathing hole if things go wrong. A bowl of water or a bath can be used for drowning games, most effective for interrogation scenarios. Only highly experienced players should carry out the following, extreme form of breath control, and ideally they should have some medical experience. Gallows or noose play is where a condemned slave is actually hung by the neck in a mock execution; often, this involves masturbating or sucking him to the point of orgasm before (or sometimes after) kicking the stool away, the idea behind it being that oxygen starvation to the brain multiplies the sensation of the orgasm tenfold. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME UNLESS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING!

Water sports: The act of urinating on a slave; in a female domination scenario, this usually means directing the flow in his face to humiliate him, and often right into his mouth. It is quite common for the slave to be made to drink it, either directly from the source, or from a glass. Water sports are very popular in an S&M scenario, and most professional dungeons have toilet chairs that a slave can be locked into.
Hard sports: Also known as scat, this is similar to water sports, but involves faeces

Electrics. I know nothing about electrics, as I have never practiced it. However, they are most popular with those who enjoy interrogation scenarios. I imagine that the same rules apply with this as for breath control, namely that it should not be done to people with heart problems, or a history of epilepsy.

Dildos. These are great for role-reversal, especially the strap-on variety. The slave can be forced to suck the mistress’ cock, or she can rape him anally with it. My own personal favorites are the ones that can be attached to a facemask. Dildos are common when used in a feminization scenario, where the male slave is made to dress and act like a woman.

Humiliation. It is a good idea for the slave to be made to strip as early as possible, because straight away he is then humiliated and vulnerable. If he is naked, perhaps with his hands tied behind him and on his knees at the feet of a fully dressed and sexually attractive woman, he is at a complete psychological disadvantage. The woman can increase his humiliation by inspecting him as if he were a piece of meat, laughing at him, ridiculing him, perhaps making fun of his penis or even masturbating it, slapping him, spitting on him, flicking cigarette ash into his mouth, etc. Treating a slave as if he is a dog, making him crawl to fetch balls, etc, or riding around on his back like a horse are extremely effective, and an excellent source of entertainment at parties!

Before any real punishment occurs, it is always a good idea to get an erotic charge going, through teasing and flaunting. The slave can be ordered to suck the mistress’ toes, kiss his way up her thighs, worship her through her panties or rim her. She can gently play with his nipples, or slowly tease him to erection. The best example of teasing that I have personally experienced was by a mistress I used to visit in Wisconsin. She would start every session by tying me up and making me lie on the floor, then she would kneel until she was straddling my face, pull her panties to one side and slowly masturbate, occasionally stuffing her wet fingers in my mouth and forcing me to suck them clean. I would be begging her for release in no time flat.
Once a slave is fully aroused, teasing and denial can be gradually increased to real pain and torture until he is begging for mercy and/or release. This should of course be denied for as long as possible, and at least until the mistress has been fully satisfied herself.

Hopefully, this guide has been of some use to those thinking of starting out in the BDSM scene. All that remains for me to say is enjoy yourself, and keep it safe, sane and consensual!

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